Writing Assessment Review

Today in WGA we are reviewing our writing assessment from terms 1 and 4. We looked at what our rubric score is and saw what we have to improve on. Before we looked at the rubric score we had to reread our writing. The seven things you can score on are our ideas, structure, organisation, vocabulary, sentence, punctuation and spelling. I scored 4 for ideas, 4 for structure, 5 for organisation, 4 for vocabulary, 5 for sentence, 5 for punctuation and 5 for spelling.  

My next steps to getting better at writing would be looking at my structure, vocab and also my ideas. How I will work on my next steps is by looking at some words I can put instead so a word, strengthen my ideas. and also put my sentences in the right paragraph or right place. 

Creative Writing

Today in wga we are doing creative writing. We are following along with the teacher. The photo is of a snowy forest with houses and Christmas decor. It's been a while since we did creative writing with the teacher. Here is my writing and the photo.


As the dark sky blooms the stars of the night start to shine through the tall trees. The light of the house glows making the stars and trees shine more than the sun. As I look around more the snow starts to turn to ice as the trees are filled with snow. The people start to come out of their house, the snow starts falling and the Christmas tree starts to shine. 

The people sit down on the deck in their Christmas outfits. Each of the people has different things on their top and pants, it could be reindeers, snow falling, reefs and maybe Santa with Mrs Claus. A reindeer comes outside with a plate on its back. On the plate, there are cookies and also hot cocoa on the plate.

As the reindeer is going to the people he falls. The people rush to pick up the glass but then some of them get glass in their hands. The people get up and put bandages on their hands. The poor reindeer has hot cocoa all over him.

Most of the people rush to the kitchen to get wet paper towels. The other people run to the reindeer to try to calm him down. Even though he is calm, he is just sitting there waiting for the people to get off him. When the people finally get off him, he gets up and walks to the snow. When he is at the snow, he rolls in it to get the cocoa off him. 

Writing

 For the past 3-5 weeks we have been doing writing. We have done lots of different types of writing. So far we have done around 9 different pieces of writing. They all have been different from the others. We also have gone outside with the teacher and she has read us some stories. All of the stories she read us have been different from the others. There are a few pieces of writing that I like. Here is one of the stories I like even though it is not finished. 

Setting: Mount Olympus
It was a calm day on the Mount. All of the demi-gods, goddesses and gods were doing something. Only the best demi-gods, goddesses and gods were on mount Olympus. All of the demi-gods were practising their powers and how it would be like in Asgard. Most of the goddesses were trying to make a new power or a new outfit for battle. Most of the gods and some of the goddesses were in the mountains hall. The reason why most of the gods and some goddesses were in them is that there were so many people intruding on Mount Olympus. Only the strongest gods and goddesses are allowed in the hall. They are trying to make a plan to close the border from Asgard and Gotham. 

Setting: Gotham
In Gotham, there were people trying to get to Mount Olympus except for Mario. Mario was practising his spells. Even though Mario isn’t a goddess or a demi, he still is treated the same. Most of the time he is helping the goddess and demi. He is known as the healer or the nicest person on Gotham. Hundreds of people come to Mario every day to get help from him. Most of the time the reason why all of the demis and goddesses are to get Mario to Mount Olympus. Sometimes the portal opens but not fully for anyone to get in. 

Setting: Gotham and soon it goes to Mount Olympus Sometimes it is big enough to fit a person but it only stays open for 3 seconds. It’s been a long time since that happened so it might happen sooner or later. Then it SUDDENLY happened…. IT OPENED. Mario was sad that he has to leave them but he knows it for the good. When Mario got through to the other side. Mario was stunned by what he can see. Soon after Mario processed what he can see he started walking up the mountain. Mario was still shocked made it to the mount.

Setting: Mount Olympus When Mario was walking up the mountain he started to feel uneasy so he looked behind him. Nothing was there so he continued walking up the mountain. Soon he felt more uneasy so he said one of his spells. The spell he said was to make him see anything that was invisible. After he said that spell he started running. While he was running he looked behind and saw a dragon. The dragon looks like it was made out of air. Then he realised that it was Annabeth’s dragon. 

Setting: Mount Olympus Annabeth is the goddess of air. She is one of the strongest goddesses. She is the 5th strongest goddess. There are only 20 of the strongest gods/goddesses. There are gods for all of the elements. The elements are air, weather, earth/nature, water, fire, light, music/sound, technology and more. There is a power of the key. Most people call the power of key and element even though it is not one. 

Persuasive Writing review

 Today in wananga we are doing a review on persuasive writing. The reason why is because we have a test later on in the term. We have to write about the importance of business and enterprise in school. Year 7s have to write 2 paragraphs. Year 8-9s have to do 4-5 paragraphs. Here is what I wrote.



I think that it is important to learn about business and enterprise in school. It is important to learn business and enterprise because if you don't know about it you won't know what to do in the future. If you don't know what business and enterprise are you won't know how to do a proper budget, be smart with money and more. Business and enterprise in school are learning what to do with money and what it is like to make a small business.

If you do business and enterprise in school you could do a market day. Market day is where you spend around 7-8 weeks on making a small business. In your small business, you are making products for you to sell. You are making a logo/sign to put in front of your table. When it is market day you will have a table for you to put your products on it. You will put your logo/sign on the front of the table.

If you don't do business and enterprise in school and you want to start a business you won't know how to. You won't know how to make a budget, how to make a plan, how to start it or maybe even what to do.  Them are some reason why it is important to do business and enterprise in school. Another reason why it is important to learn about business and enterprise in school is if you don't know how to promote your business if you are making one.

 These were the reasons why I think it is important to do business and enterprise in school. You need to learn about business and enterprise because in the future you will know what to do.

Masterton - Part 2 Snowing

 Today in Wānanga we have to do a 200-word challenge. The reason we have to do a 200-word challenge is because it started snowing. For the 200-word challenge, I decided to make it another part of the Masterton/Mather story. I did 202 words. Here is part 2/writing and a photo of what it is supposed to look like. 

It was a very cold day in Masterton. Everyone wanted to stay inside and not go to school. If you were home you would have your fire on and having a hot drink. I had to go to school though. It was close to period 2. There were light showers throughout the day so far. Some of the showers were rainy and some of them were light snow. When it was period 2 there were also other light snow showers but then it was actually snowing. In Masterton, it rarely snows here so this is a one time experience. The last time it snowed here was around 9 years ago. Everyone at the school I am going to goes out to see the snow if they are allowed to. I didn't go out to feel the snow but I did see it. After it finished snowing it was clear for a bit but then there was light snow. Soon the light snow stopped and it started to rain. In between the rain, there were bits of snow in it. When it was raining the sun came out. For some reason, you can see the sun but it is raining with light snow.

CARR Stamps Encourage Students To Make Positive Choices

 Today in Te Ao Whanui we are doing another do now. Every time we have To Ao Whanui we have to do a do now. For the do now we to write about a statement for 15 minutes. Each statement is different from the last one. The statement is "CARR stamps encourage students to make positive choices". I didn't have many ideas but I had some. Here is my writing.

I don't agree with this statement because even if we are doing positive choices we still don't get stamps. Even though students finish their work or help someone out they still don't get stamps. The CARR stamps don't do much.  Most of the time, teachers say to have our CARR cards out and still don't stamp us. There are only a few rewards if you get so much. When we get 5 full CARR cards we get a postcard home. When we get 10 full CARR cards we get a 5 dollars cafe voucher. When we get 20 full CARR cards we get 10 dollars to the cafe or the hub. Most of the time teachers have their CARR stamp on them and they don't even stamp. I don't like it when the teachers say that they will stamp our card but they don't. One of the things I like about them is that you don't have to pay to go to the cafe with your voucher. Most of the time my CARR card is in my pocket folded up. 

Wants Writing

 On Wednesday in Te Ao Whanui, we started doing a wants writing. I choose to do candy/lollies as my want. Last week we did needs writing. For my needs writing last week, I choose to do clothes. Last week I only had to do 3 paragraphs but I did 4. This week I have to do 5 paragraphs. Our teacher got us into groups of how many paragraphs we had to do. There is a group for 1, 2, 3 and 5 paragraphs. Here is my writing. 
Let's talk about lollies and candy. Lollies were first made in the 16th century. The difference between lollies and candy is edible and lollie is a hard type of candy. George Smith was the maker of lollipops. Candy origin is mainly in ancient India. The oldest known candy is the chocolate cream bar made by Joseph Fry in 1866. There are lots of different types of candy and lollies. One of the most popular candies is snickers. One of the most popular lollies is spaceman. Snickers is made by Mars Inc. Mars Inc is made by Franklin Clarence Mars. Spaceman is made by Bonza Confectionery. Some other popular lollies and candies are milky way, twix, M&M, Reese’s peanut butter cups, gummi bears and more. There are four different types of sugar in the candy. They are called glucose, fructose, sucrose and lactose. Fructose is fruit sugar. Sucrose is table sugar. Lactose is dairy sugar. Glucose is normal sugar. Most people take candy with the sugar they need. If you take too much glucose you can get diabetes. There are two different types of diabetes, there are type 1 and type 2. There is no cure for diabetes but if you have type 1 you can take pills and it will help you. Lollies and candy are mostly used as a treat. For example, if you finish your work at school and tell your parents you could get a lolly or candy. There are different types of ways candy and lollies can be used. One of the ways it can be used is by using it with your baking. Lots of people use lollies in their baking. Most people make lolly cakes. Lollies and candy have lots of different ingredients. It depends on the candy/lolly for what ingredients they use. Most candy use sugar, butter, cream and milk. There are more ingredients they use in candy. Most lollies use sugar and milk. There are also more ingredients they use in lollies.  This is why I think lollies and candy are a want.

Year 7 - 8 Students should be allowed to have phones at school

 Today in Te Au Whanui we are doing another do now. The do now statement is "Year 7 - 8 students should be allowed to have phones at school". Here is my writing. (I did not get as much time as the others because my mouse was not working). 

I think year 7 - 8 should be allowed to have there phones at school. At the school I go to if you are year 10 and up you can go onto your phone. One of the reason why I think we should be allowed to have our phones at school is if we need to contact some one. Year 7 - 8s should be allowed to have there phones but if they are not using it it will have to be in there bag. (This is not finished).

Student Should Not Have To Wear School Unifroms

 Today in Te Ao Whanui we got given another statement. The statement is Student should not have to wear school uniforms. Each period we have for Te Ao Whanui we get given a statement and we have to write about it. Here is my writing.

I agree and disagree with this statement. If we don't have uniforms we don't get to show who we really are. What I mean by who we really are is that with clothes you can show who you are(Tomgirl, girly girl, and more). Another reason is that clothes don't cost as much as uniforms. If you don't have uniforms there will be some rules though. One of the rules for if you don't have uniforms will probably be don't show the 3 Bs(boobs, bottom and belly button). Another reason will probably be not too much makeup. One of the good things if you have uniforms it shows what school you go to. Another reason if you have uniforms and you are good it gives a good review on the school. This is why I think schools should not have uniforms

It Is Important That Year 7-8 Do Friday Sport

 Today in Te Ao Whanui we have been given another statement. The statement is it is important that year 7-8 do Friday sport. If you don't know what Friday sport is it is sports that happens every Friday. You can choose what sport you want to do. You have to write if you agree or disagree and why. Here is my writing. 

I think that it is important that year 7 and 8s do Friday sport. One of the reasons I think it is important is that you need to exercise each week. Even if you do sport in the weekend it is still important to do some sport in school. It is good that you do a different sport on Fridays at school than the one you do in the weekend. It is also good that you do at least 3 or more hours of sport each week. Another one of the reasons is because people are overwhelmed with school work and they need some times to let the energy out.

Friday sport is something that lots of schools should do. Why I think that lots of schools should do that is because if they don't have PE that term they can still get some exercise in. I also think that a group of year 9 - 13s each week should also do Friday sport. It should be a different group of year 9 - 13s each week and do a different sport as well. One of the reasons I think that year 9 - 13s should do it is because if they didn't choose PE as a subject. 

Needs Writing

 Yesterday in Te Ao Whanui we started doing a need invention writing. The need invention I choose was clothes. Yesterday we also learnt about OREO. The Os in OREO stands for opinion. The R in OREO stands for reason. The E in OREO stands for example/evidence. Our teacher also read us another person essay that had 5 paragraphs. Here is my writing. 
Let’s talk about clothes. Clothes were first invented between 114,00 and 30,000 years ago. In the olden days, they used animal skin to make clothes. The animal skin was also used to make shoes and tunic. Another thing that they used in the olden days was leaf type stuff and fur. Now let’s talk about why you need clothes to survive. One of the reasons you need clothes is to keep you warm when it is cold. Also one of the reasons why you need clothes is to keep your body covered (private parts). If your body parts are not covered it can make it easier for people to harass you. One of the positives of not having clothes is making you less insecure. Then also with clothes people can make them feel less insecure with what they are wearing. There are different types of clothing. For example, something to keep you not saturated is jackets and pants. In winter you need jackets and pants to keep you warm. Unlike in summer, some types of clothes don’t cover as much body as winter clothes do. Some of the clothes are crop tops, shorts, tops, tank tops, skirts, dresses and more. There are more types of clothing. As you see there are many types of clothing. How would you feel if you didn’t have any clothes? If you didn’t have clothes would you kill an animal and use the skin for clothes. This is why I think we need clothes to survive.

Persuasive Writing

Today in Te Ao Whanui we are looking at persuasive writing. We have been given a statement which is cats are better than dogs. Now that we have been given a statement we have to write about why we agree or disagree with it or not. Here is the writing I did. 

I disagree with this statement I think dogs are better than cats. The reason I think that dogs are better than cats is that dogs do lots more stuff. There can be some cats that do stuff but they don't do much. There are lots of things you can do with dogs. For example, you can take dogs on a walk and play fetch with them.When you walk the dog you also get exercise. Sometimes people take cats on a walk but not much. Most of the time cats are just laying around or they are at a different person house. Unlike cats, dogs play with each other and are all hyper. This is why I think dogs are better than cats.

Slide The Corner - Gregs Diary

 Yesterday since I finished my work I had to do a fast finish task. There were three things I could choose out of. I did one of them last year and the other one was reading it out loud but I don't feel confident so I am not doing that one. The only other one I can do is make Greg a diary. Here is what I wrote in the diary.
Pages 12 - 15 Date 12 - 5 - 2007 Time: 6:30pm It was another day and I had to be late again. The reason I was late was that I was too bothered looking at the cars. One of the cars I really want but I can’t until I get a job. Back to being late again. Let me tell you what happens when I am late home. Most of the time I have to get to bed without dinner and I have to stay in my room sometimes if I ague I don’t get lunch that next day. I think that it is unfair because if Kitty or William are late it doesn’t matter they still get to have dinner. One of the things I liked about today was that I got into the automotive engineering course. That was a part of my day. - Greg

Hero Writing

 On Wednesday we started writing about our hero. The story could be real or fake. I choose to do a real story. The hero I choose to do was my Dad because the past week has been a bit sad for him. I thought this would be good to write about because my great Granddad is also dead and my Dad can't get over there because of covid. The story contains death in it. Here is the story.

It was the middle of the holidays. Everyone was going out to different places. The day was calm and people out walking their dogs. I was just sitting in my room on my chromebook watching youtube. Soon my Dad got a phone call from my Nana. I paused my video because I am a nosey kid. As soon as my Dad started talking I knew it was something bad. My Dad and Nana were talking for a long time. It has been about a half-hour since they called and I haven’t heard anything since then.  It has been about 1 hour since the call and my Dad called us down to the lounge. When we got down to the lounge my Dad started talking. He said, “Okay so Nana called me and uh said that the hospital called her about Nana(Great Nana) and uh she has passed.” I asked him if he knows what time she died. After a couple of minutes, he finally replied that she died at about 11:30 there time so 1:30 our time. Since they live in Australia they are behind us in time. My Nana was not there when she died because she was in Melbourne or Brisbane but she got there the next day.  Soon its night time and my family decided to come to my house and have a video call with our Nana. We even got to Rose, my auntie. The people that came were my uncle Aj, my other uncle Daniel, my auntie Christine and my big sister Katelyn with her baby Sienna. I wasn’t down there at the start but I was down there later. Everyone got a turn to talk to her. Since this has happened my Dad has been taking the week of work. My Father even got the kitten that our uncles place because it got dumped by its mother. 

The funeral is later next week. It is going to be live-streamed because we can’t get over there because of covid and quarantine. After the funeral, she is going to get cremated like our Granddad(Great Granddad) did.

Creative Writing

Last week we had to do creative writing about a picture about snowy mountains in Canada because my teacher was getting home sick. Here is my writing

Big snowy mountains and snowy trees all around me and filling my view. As I look more around, I see some water and I wonder if the water is cold or warm. Around the water, there is more snowy tree and snowy big mountains. I change my eyes for the beautiful view to the ground. There is not much on the ground just snow and some tiny bits of green and some leaves. My dog, Milo starts to run around looking like a goofy horse. I'm not surprised that he started running around, he hasn't been out of the house much since it's been too cold for him and we didn't have a coat for him. Most of the time we only go out because Milo loves the outdoors.

Milo keeps running around like a goofy horse but not as goofy as before. He starts to slow down when he gets to the water. Milo hasn't been around water much because we don't go to the beach much, if we do we just walk along the sand with him. Milo is a purebred chocolate labrador. His eyes are like melted dark chocolate. Milo is tall and skinny like a greyhound. He has a soft coat and a fluffy tail so lots of people want to touch him but he doesn't want them to touch him. Milo is not like other dogs and loves people, he hates other people and dogs its just the way he is. We don't take Milo to dog parks because he would bark at everyone and chase them around. 

When Milo went into the water he starts to get stealthy which is unusual for him. He only gets stealthy when there is an animal here and he doesn't like it. Soon enough he starts growling loud at the water. Milo starts slowly backing out of the water. The animal in water starts following milo out of the water.

Greta Thunberg - Heros

 Yesterday we started a new topic but it's still about heroes. Our new topic is Earth Day and Greta Thunberg. Yesterday we had to read an article, watch a video and if we think we can do more we read a bigger article. If you were not here yesterday you had to just read the article and watch the video. Today we had to create something. Since I am in the superman group we could have chosen to do a canvas poster about Greta or write a persuasive paragraph about why we think she is a hero. I choose the persuasive paragraph. Here is the paragraph.

I think Greta Thunberg is a hero because she is trying to change the way the climate is. To some people she is not a hero but that the way they think. There is a lot of reasons why I think Greta is a hero. One of the reasons is that she is trying to change peoples minds about what kids think. I think it is very cool to see someone with a syndrome speak out about something and not get ashamed about what she is saying or that if people think that she is stupid by speaking out. There are some down things about what she did, like dropping out of school and leaving her friends but she did that for a change. 

She did one of her speech at the United Nations COP24 in Katowice. She was 15 years old when she gave that speech. She has also given speeches at other places. Her most famous speech was Climate Action Summit "You have stolen my dreams, and my childhood, with your empty words. And yet I'm one of the lucky ones,". Most people listened to her because they realised something that they should have realised before she had to speak out. The awards she won was time person of the year, Glamour Award for The Revolutionar, Right Livelihood Awar, Shorty Award for Best in Activis, Rachel Carson PrizeInternational,  Children's Peace Prize, Ambassador of Conscience Award and Nordic Council Environment Prize.

This is how I know that she is a hero. 

Our Hero

 Last week on Friday we had to do an activity where we write about our hero/s. Each group had to do something different but each group is still writing the same topic. My group that I am in had to do 2-3 paragraphs. I did two different people because I can't do 2 paragraphs about one person because I don't have much ideas about the person. For my heros/people I did my Mum and my big Sister. Their names are Rachel and Katelyn. Here are my two paragraphs about my heros/people.

My hero is my Mother, her name is Rachel. She is my hero because she gave birth to me and looks after me. My Mother likes to watch racing and rugby with me(so does all of my family). My Mother leaves me alone and lets me do what I want most of the time. She likes to try and be funny most of the time when we get home or when she gets home. My Mum worries about me if she is going away the next day. Rachel likes to give me the food I like in my lunch.

My other hero is my Sister, her name is Katelyn. She is my hero because she made a beautiful child. She is also my hero because she is looking after me for 3 days and is taking me and my sister to the movies and we are going to see The Little Things while she is going to the movies. She lets us play Mario kart 8 deluxe on her Nintendo. Her child's name is Sienna and she is very cute and funny. Katelyn likes to let us do what we want most of the time when we are at her house and lets us look after Sienna. Katelyn likes to play touch but is not playing much because she has to look after Sienna.

Horror Story - Whitebirdge Election

Since November 27 Me and my friend Alexia have been making a horror story. Our story doesn't have much horror in it yet because we are still making the story and we have only finished chapter 1 and 2. The story is called Whitebridge Election. So far we have only made 3 chapters but only 2 are finished. I am only going to show you chapter 1 and 2 because we haven't finished chapter 3 yet. Me and Alexia made it so that there is going to be an election happening and Dzvezda is going to try and make it so he wins the election. Here is chapter 1 and 2 of our story we are making.

Book Draft Chapter 1 - Whitebridge Introduction 

There is a little town in a forest named Whitebridge. It had a population of 100,000. In the middle of the town there are small market places run by civilians who live there. The town was very peaceful, one of the only towns who have never gone to war. Whitebridge got its name because every few months beautiful white bearded irises grow around the town. The president's name is Anton. The town was found because the president of Whitebridge was trying to find a place to build a town so he was stumbling around and then found forest. He decides to take a walk inside of the forest, he sees a place in the middle of the forest where bearded irises were growing. He then thought that this was the perfect place to build a town. That’s how Whitebridge was found. Anton decided to get his best friend Apollo to help him build the town, of course this isn’t possible building a town with just two people so he got some people he knew that lived in the old town. There is a signature building that took the longest to build. That building  was a huge clock tower. The clock tower was built with dark brown bricks, stained glass with a variety of colours, above the stained glass is the clock, the clock has black hands, there are rails just on top of the clock that have the flag that represents Whitebridge. The flag colours our black, white, and grey.

Book Draft Chapter 2 - Election Making

Years later Whitebridge became a popular place for people wanting to have an adventure. Anton woke up and it was still dark out. After a lot of thinking he decided that there is going to be an election soon because he realises that he is going to die sooner or later. The sun was out and Anton decided to wake everyone up with the Alarms. “Good Morning Whitebridge! It's time to wake up for this lovely day ahead” Anton said into the loud speaker. Everyone liked Anton except Dzezda. No one knows why Dzezda doesnt like Anton. When everyone woke up they all went to the hall to see what today's announcement is. “Hello, Welcome to today's announcement. I have done a lot of thinking and decided that there is going to be an election.” Anton announced. Dzezda knew that he could do something bad at the election. Dzvezda had a bad childhood making him the way he is. Dzvezda was not a normal civilian. He was a loud person, not a lot of people liked him for that reason. He didn’t really like others either but there was one thing that he knew. He wanted to take over Whitebridge. His dream was to go to war. He loved being in the stoplight and he wanted to be a star. That didn’t really work out though. Once he heard that there was going to be an election he knew he had to be the new president. Dzvezda thought it would be a great idea because he knew if he was the president people would listen to him. He wanted to go to war with anyone who didn’t agree with him. There were of course other people trying to be president but he didn’t care because he was going to win and he was sure of it, even though most people didn’t like him he knew he was going to win. The way he was going to win is because he is going to cheat the votes. It wasn’t going to be easy but it wasn’t going to be hard either. 
He decided on two plans. His first plan was trying to bribe people to vote for him but depending on the people who he asked it would work or the whole thing would go down from there, one thing bad about this plan was that some people of Whitebridge liked to snitch so if he asked some person they might tell the current president and then that would mean Dzvezda would be out of the election. The second plan would be after all the votes were in he would sneak in and take some votes out of the other boxes into his box which would mean this would be more efficient if no-one saw him. 

Speech Writing - Why Girl Should Be Allowed To Play Rugby No Matter There Age.

For the past few weeks we have been doing speech writing. I choose to do my speech about "Why girls should be allowed to play rugby no matter there age". Today we had to record our self saying our speech standing up. I didn't enjoy much about the speech unit. I didn't like recording myself and having to say it in front of people. I liked making the speech and choosing what I wanted to write about. Sometimes while doing this I thought people would judge me about doing my speech about rugby. I learnt that I cant talk infornt of people. The purpose of a persuasive writing is that you are trying to get people to make change or have a argument about sometime you don't agree with. 

Margaret Mahy

 Today in Wānanga we had to do another EOTC task.   The task I choose to do was that I had to make a biography about Margaret Mahy. I put some facts in the biography. Here is the biography.